Halo: The Battle for Middle Earth
by DethStar
Summary: Very inaccurate to games or movies. Kind of funny. Good quick story. Please review.
1. The death to them all

Disclaimer: I dont own Lord of the Rings or Halo, or the characters or anything else. 

Wow, I have too much time on my hands, when I get bored of my unfinished good story and not in the mood to work on my confusing ok story.  
This is a short story, not much story too it, but a good story when all you want to do is waste some time. If you dont, you can still read it, but I dont expect even the usual 1 person that wastes there time to read it will do even that this time. But reviews are still welcome.

"BAH!" theNazgul cried as multiple bullets from the m6c magnum pistol peirced its head.

'Look," The lord of the Nazgul's said, "A guy in green shiny armor, lets stab him with our pointy knives!"

The spartan then shot the lord of the Nazgul's with his M19SSM.

BOOOOOM whent the rocket, as bits of the Nazgul flew through the air.

"OH NO" Said the Nazgul's as bloody chunks pelted them.

Then they ran away.

So the Spartan, lets just say he's Fred, goes on a long walk over some mountains, were he finds a cave. He goes inside and sees a whole bunch of mean goblins.

"Kill him" The goblins yell

"No dont" Fred replied

"Ok" The Goblins said.

But just as they turned away to stab a fellowship of people with a ring, _hint hint,_ fred shot them all with duel m9's.

The Hobbits all cheered.

"Shut up" Fred said, "I hate you Hobbits" And he shot them all, and the fellowship threw a party for the Hobbit slaughtering hero. Then a troll came and started killing people.

"Oh no" Fred said, as he took out the half empty rocketlauncher.

"Dont shoot!" Gandalf yelled, but it was too late, and the cave started to collapse.

Everyone tried to get to the entrance but the big mean balrog swiped them down and burned them to dust. But Freds shield kept him alive.

"Oh crud," thought Fred, "Now I have to use this fuel rodgun I found under this rock while everyone was being burned alive.

"What was a covenant rocketlauncher type gun doing in a cave on middle earth?" The Balrog asked.

But before the overly logical question could be answered, the Balrog erupted into a giant green explosion.

And thats the story of how Fred saved Thanksgiving.


	2. More questions?

Disclaimer: I don't own Halo, Halo 2, Lord of the Rings, Frodo the hobbit, Samwise the Hobbit, Balrog the giant flaming scary moster, Gandalph, Fred the Spartan, John the Spartan, the M19 SSM Rocket Launcher, The m6c Pistol BR55 Battle Rifle, Fuel Rod Gun, Unsc Marines, Unsc, The Pelican dropship, the longsword bombers, Plasma Rifle,  
Plasma Pistol, Warthog, Scorpion, Ghost(AHH A GHOST!), Banshee, Warg, Assault Rifle, or anything else related to Halo or the Lord of the Rings.(Or Starwars or the DeathStar.) 

The Balrog erupted into a giant green exlosion.  
"Hooray" The zombie hobbits cheered.  
"AHHH Zombies!"Fred screamed.  
"Don't wor-" Zombiea Frodo began untill he was ripped apart by a flood infested goblin.  
"Mr. Frodo, nooooooooo" Sam yelled as the cave which was probably forgotten by most people finally collapsed.  
"And I was never heard from again" Fred said to a rock outside the cave,"and now, off to save thanksgiving as previously stated, Fred, awaaaaaayyyy" And Fred was off, to his next adventure.

""Hey look, a ring, maybe it has a bathroom" Fred thought to himself as he floated through space, after he accidently jumped out of Reach's gravitational pull.  
"How did I do that?" Fred thought to himself, before he was burned alive in the rings atmosphere"  
"And I was never heard from again" Fred continued to the rock outside the cave.  
"Shut up, your boring" The rock replied.  
"You have betrayed me for the last time, Death Star, open fire, oh wait, that was 50000 years ago."And Fred was off to his next adventure.

He began walking across Middle Earth again, searching for the answers to how he saved thanksgiving, and why there happened to be a Fuel Rod Gun under a rock.

Just then a glowing elite apeared, "Halt, I hold the answers to the questions you ask"  
"Oh no, a monster" Fred said as he sholdered his BR55.  
"Dont shoot" the elite said as 2 3 round bursts peirced his strange funny shaped armored skull.

"Hmmm that answers those questions."Fred thought before he relized in the past 10 minutes he hadn't made any progress to answer anything.

"Oh wait, im not smart enough to relize things" And Fred forgot whatever he had relized just then. Then a Warthog pulled up next to him and John, the Master Cheif, and Kelly, the other Spartan, got out.

"Hi Fred"

"Hi"

"Hi"

"Whats up"

"Not all that much"

"I saw fred today"

"Really? That must have been cool."

"Yeah it was "John continued, and Fred and Kelly just watched him standing there talking to himself.

"Well ookkk, want to go to the back seat of the car?"Fred asked Kelly.

"Sure then I can shove the chaingun in your face and pain the Hog with your blood."

"Well" Fred replied,"What I meant was-"

"I know, no" Kelly told him while unholstering her pistol.

"So, what are you doing out here Fred?" John asked.

"Well the narrorator said I saved thanksgiving, but I want to know how."

"Thats an easy question, obviously when you shot the balrog with the fuel rod gun, it caused a time fluctuation in which the fuel rod gun was teleported under the rock so you could pick it up before it was there, and then by using the gun before it was there, you made it teleport there, now by destroying the balrog with a gun that wasn't there yet, the reprucutions through time cause the pilgrims to move to the new land, saving thanksgiving. But thats not all. Clearly once you destroyed the balrog you stopped Gandalph from becoming gandalph the white, which would end up destoying helmsdeep, but you canceled this out by killing the rest of the fellowship, but now you have to do what the fellowship would have done. You have to get captured run away, find out were you ran away to die, float over a waterfall, then go back up the fall and go accross the river and go to a mountain, while saving 2 castles and killing orcs, and getting the ents to destroy isengard, or you could just throw this ring into mount doom and hope things work out. But back to thanksgiving, you caused the pilgrims to go over the ocean, but by destroying the balrog, you also destroyed the earth, but you cancelled this out by building that mud cake at the beach that once which eventually reformed the planet." John said.

"Wait how did you get the ring?" Fred asked John before relizing his mistake.

"Why thats an even simpler question to answer you see, whe-"John began.

"Ok lets go" Fred and Kelly both said simultaneously.

And they began to drive away.

* * *

Sorry if its not as good as the first one, if the first one was even good. WellI hope this answered some of your questions, or raised more. Good luck and have a wonderful future.


End file.
